


No Starting Over

by NarryEm



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 13:44:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1228585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarryEm/pseuds/NarryEm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Losing the love of your life is never easy.<br/>Even more so when it is to your very best mate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Starting Over

**Author's Note:**

> title from "Six Degrees of Separation" by The Script. 
> 
> I'm feeling angsty, I wonder if the breakup is what caused it

_First, you think the worst is a broken heart_

Harry is at another bar, another night where he will end up with a hangover the next day. He has a glass of something clutched in his hand and a bloke by his side. It's stupid, getting drunk nearly every night just to feel like he is wanted by the strangers. What's worst is that he knows what _he_ is up to every night.

So he throws back the remainder of his drink and whispers into the nameless bloke's ear.

 

Twenty minutes later, Harry stumbles out of the toilets with his jeans done up halfway. He was alright but not what he's been wanting for the past couple months. 

He ignores the empty feeling inside his heart and goes about the pub, seducing as many people as he can. It's so easy that it's pathetic. He smiles and gives them some lingering touches and voila, they are already under his spell. He doesn't know if it's a gift or a curse because if picking up people hadn't been this easy, he wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

 

-

 

_What's gonna kill you is the second part_

 

Harry thought that he has gotten used to it. 

Apparently he hasn't.

"You won't believe what he did for the Valentine's Day!" Louis gushes over the phone. "The day before, we were just hanging out, yeah? Playing FIFA and arguing over which is the best team as usual. Then we ordered pizza because you know that we both can't cook for shit. The pizza guy arrived and Niall told me to get it. I said something about him being a lazy wanker but I did it anyways because I love him. I open the pizza box and bam, there's a note asking me if I want to go to Paris."

"That's romantic, a hidden message on pizza," Harry says dryly. It sounds like something his ex would do for sure.

"Oh shove it. It was creative. Paris was brilliant. Now I know why they call it the City of Light. Like literally, the lights are never off. And the Eiffel Tower is so beautiful at night. We went up to the viewpoint and he gave me a bouquet of roses and chocolate right in the middle of all those people."

"Sounds crazy romantic, Lou. Listen I gotta go. My mum's calling me so."

He signs off hastily and buries his face into the pillow as the tears come rushing out. 

Last year, he had gotten the same treatment, minus the pizza thing. They went to Paris, window-shopped at Champs-Elysees and _he_ had even surprised him by buying him a watch he had been eyeing for a while. Then they topped it off with a dinner up top on the Eiffel Tower.

And now, it was nothing but a memory.

 

-

_And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle_

 

His grades start dropping and Harry tries. He stays up all night studying for the exams weeks before and goes to the peer tutoring sessions. Yet he still ends up with unsatisfying grades. (Well they are decent but not good enough for what Harry is aiming for)

And so continues his spiral downwards.

His sister has a boyfriend and they seem to be getting on real well. His mum and step-dad just left for a second honeymoon to somewhere tropical.

Seems like everyone around him is finding love except for him

 

-

_And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself_

 

In the summer, Harry takes that internship opportunity in America. It's a ten-week program with long work hours and a rewarding paycheque. He doesn't even bother calling Louis before he leaves.

America is nice, and it's really sunny in LA. He meets his girl named Taylor. She works at the same firm and she has this way about her that Harry likes. Her smiles are genuine and her short blond hair is curly and sways nicely in the breeze.

It's not a surprise that they end up dating, given that they fit into each other's lives so nicely. Their first date is out on the beach by the Palm Springs. They have a picnic and somehow, Harry finds himself covered with chips.

("Fries," Taylor corrects him fondly, and Harry sticks his tongue out.)

Afterwards, he drops her off at her place and kisses her goodnight like a proper gentleman. The goodnight kiss turns into a snog, which Harry doesn't mind. But somewhere in the back of his mind, he notices the obvious lack of scratch of a stubble and he can feel and taste the soft stickiness of Taylor's lip gloss. And there's tits pressed to his chest, which he isn't very used to.

 

They keep it up, the dates. It's never serious like a dinner out at Olive Garden, more like going to In-'n'-Out Burgers and the long afternoons spent in the warm waves. He is sure that he feels whole now.

 

-

_Fifth, you see them out with someone else_

 

Harry has gotten used to the hot days in LA and the barely cooled-down nights. And he really likes Taylor. He's not in love, not quite, but there's something about the girl that keeps him coming back.

He surprises her with tickets to the Disney Land. It's only for the weekend as they both work on weekdays. Nevertheless, Taylor proper squeals and throws her arms around him, attacking him with kisses.

It's lovely, and Harry's been the one in France. This one is similar, and with a lot more Americans. They go on most attractions at the Grizzly Peak and Harry can't help but noticing how good Taylor looks in her vintage-inspired bikini. More than once, he finds excuses to go kiss her and maybe cop a feel or two.

Halfway through the day, he runs into them.

"Hey Harry," Louis says, smiling. And by his side is Niall. Of course.

Seeing him after all these years hurts like hell. It's like there are a thousand knives driving in to Harry's heart and twisting about. 

Niall's face is guarded but he does smile. "Hi," Harry returns.

"'Ello," Niall mutters.

"Who's the lovely girl, Hazza?' Louis inquires.

"Taylor, these are Louis and Niall, my mates from home. Guys, this is Taylor, my girlfriend."

"And here I thought that you only played on my team," Louis sighs dramatically. Taylor laughs.

"Yeah, for the first few weeks I thought the same. Turns out he is a switch-hitter."

Harry grimaces. "Let's not talk about me and my orientation. The water slides await!"

 

Against Harry's silent wishes, they spend the rest of the day together. Louis and Niall have been saving up for this trip and they are staying in California for two weeks.

"And we're going to Las Vegas for one night as well," Louis winks.

"Don't play over your limit," Taylor advises. "Those things are like quicksand, I hear."

"I'll try my best."

That night, Harry nearly breaks down crying. The only thing that stops that from happening is the warmth of Taylor's body next to his as they sleep.

 

-

 

_And the sixth, is when you admit you may have fucked up a little_

The summer comes to an end and Harry and Taylor come to a mutual breakup. Taylor says that she's been expecting this for a while now.

"Since we met Louis and Niall, actually," she admits, stroking Harry's hair. Harry is lying down on the couch with his head on her lap. They are in her house and it's empty for once.

"How?" Harry asks, curious. He nudges his head into Taylor's hand so that she'll keep on playing with his hair.

"You and Niall, there was this vibe, you know? He was couldn't even look you in the eye and neither could you. I could tell by your voice too. Whenever you get stressed, you sound pinched a bit. And you tensed up visibly too."

"Wow," Harry says, smirking. "My very own psychologist. Tell me then, how am I holding up?"

"Real badly. Because according to Louis, Niall broke your heart so bad that you turned straight," she says this with a straight face.

"Hey," Harry complains, feigning hurt. "I've always appreciated beauty when I came across it."

"Smooth. Did that line work on him?"

Harry sighs. "Not really. First time we met was at Lou's house party. He was this frat-wannabe with a stupid snapback and trousers that hung too low. . . "

_**flashback, 2010, Louis' house, England** _

_"This party is sick, bro," some blond yells, loud enough to cut across the loud thumb of whatever music is playing._

_Louis is by his side and he smiles proudly. "Gotta take advantage of the situation, yeah? Parents are gone so why not throw a party?"_

_Niall high-fives him and chugs the rest of his beer. Harry glares at him. He's too loud and dressed stupidly. Who actually wear trousers like that anymore?_

_"Hey," the blond says. "'m Niall."_

_"And I'm out of here," Harry says coolly. The only reason he was here was for Louis and Louis has barely said ten words to him after he's arrived._

_"Not even gonna tell me your name, curly?" Niall coos, ruffling Harry's hair._

_"Nope. Not like you're gonna remember in the morning."_

_"Ooh, I'm hurt," Niall clutches at his heart. And with the vest he is wearing, Harry can see most of his bare chest anyways._

_"Great. My work here is done."_

_-_

__"He found me though,"

Harry reminisces. "Talked to Lou and got my number. He would always text me 'g'mornin's and 'g'nite's and it was cute, yeah? So I decided to give him a chance."

"And you fell in love," Taylor deduces.

"It's hard not to. Call me cheesy but it's like he was my sun. His world burned too bright and moved so fast, and I loved every second of it. Eventually it simmered down and suddenly he wasn't in love with me anymore. He's moved on when I was still holding on."

"It's alright," Taylor soothes. "First love is the one that stays with you forever, at least that's what I've learned from books and whatnot. Niall was your first and he'll always have a special place in your heart. But for you to learn to love again, you have to let go of the past. You can't live in the present if you keep clinging to what has happened and what could have been. Just let it go, Haz. And live."

 

-

 

Taylor was right. He's fucked up by being stubborn and keep hoping for what could never happen. There isn't a do-over button and he has to let other people in his life.

It will take more months but when the time is right, he will fall again.


End file.
